Sideline Satire

An athlete from DeSoto High School in Arcadia, Fla., decides to switch from basketball to wrestling — during a game:

Did you know that ass-clown singer Michael Bolton is also really good at softball? So good that he put out an instructional video?

Favorite line: “All the proceeds go to charities, usually to benefit children.”

Hope you had a great Christmas and/or miscellaneous holiday. I don’t know if the same can be said for the kid in this video, who gives the finger to the camera during a Villanova-Fordham basketball game — SIX DAYS before Christmas. The balls on this kid … Bonus points to his father, who proves his pimp hand is still strong.

Defensive tackle Tommy Kelly can’t be stopped, not even by slightly too-loose pants:

The generally excellent Improv Everywhere staged their latest “mission” at a Knicks game. At first I thought the mission was to make people believe the Knicks were an NBA team, but I was wrong. Nobody can pull that off.

And as a Hanukkah bonus bonus, here’s the group ringing (not singing) a song about Jesus.

Shocking. This is just the teaser for the real deal so technically it’s SFW…

This video is purportedly a pilot for a fitness show featuring King James (no, not that one), a trainer who preaches a tough-love approach, which includes hitting women with a plastic bat. This show would be a perfect fit for Lifetime or Oxygen. Do yourself a favor and watch below. Here’s my favorite quote:

“I’m not going to hold their f***in’ hands like you see on other shows, and I’m not going to sit down and cry with you. F**k that.  You wasn’t crying at that damn table when you was packin’ your fat-a** face.”

Brett Favre was wired for sound for a game against the Lions this season. But the weirdest part comes around the :35 mark, when he starts smacking various teammates’ butts as hard as he can.

Remember kids — never let a win get in the way of a fail…

Thanks to The Beach.